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Sunday, 21 January 2007

image for Channel 4 - 'We Didn't Make Meal of Racist Row'
Money Found at Jade's Home

Everybody, from Channel 4 to Gordon Brown, denied claims that they used the Big Brother racist row to boost their own personal ratings. The row, that centred over a dish of something, boosted ratings from 0 to 1, and has been seen by many to have been manufactured to boost ratings.

If you missed the show, you can see the special 10 minute extra-long edited version with that dish on More 4, at 9 am, repeated hourly until some kind of licence is taken away.

Amidst calls that the media trivialised and sensationalised a minor tiff between two pampered celebs by editorialising the front pages have been quashed. See pages 2, 3, 4, 7, 10, 23, and the back page, plus a special exclusive sensational pull-out supplement showing those pictures of that dish under the spotlight.

Next week, a ten-page pullout of that meal. And what about Bermondsey's lovable cockerney residents? Bermondsey was home to one of the protagonists who cannot by named under press restrictions. Mrs. Elsie Hatemail, said:

'People raaaaand 'ere? Gobsmacked. We never had anything like this 'appen raaaarnd 'ere.'

If you missed yesterday's paper, we have instructed vendors to keep flogging it at the knockdown price of 1p while this story has legs. Next week: Imre to marry Jade. Jade is Posh After All. Jade's Mother is Not Sorry.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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