Prime Minister-to-be Brown announced today that the Mahatma would be his role model in the war against terror. "Gandhi had it right!", Brown exclaimed. When asked what this meant , Brown explained: "Why, non-violence , you twit!"
According to Brown, the UK will now counter terrorism of all kinds, from the Middle-East or closer to home, by non-violent resistance. Eventually, Brown predicts, the enemy will be converted by our courageous acts of sacrifice.
Brown preached: "This is the power of the right that the Mahatma advocated. If Gandhi could defeat a savage force like us than certainly we can turn the tide against people of such sensitive consciences as Al-Qaida."
Brown also has committed himself to the pledge of wearing only clothing that he has woven himself, eating no animals or fish and celibacy.
When Mrs Brown, famous for her lovely daughter, was asked about her husband's three pledges she said: "1) I'd love to see it! 2) I'd love to see it and 3) I'd really love to see it!!"