The Art world is in a right state today as a rough early version 'work in progress' sculpture of Michelangelo's David has turned up at a TV antique show in Shepton Mallet.
That stuck-up guy off Antiques Roadshow said:
"This find is totally amazing and if we can establish a provenance then it is most probably priceless; worth more perhaps than the finished article!"
Our reporter asked him: "How comes then? 'Cos it looks like a right crock of shit? My five year old could do better than that"
He told us:
"Well that's a common mistake that people like you who haven't a clue make. You have no ability to appreciate art in its rawest form. The trained eye can see what's really there"
We then pressed the member of the public, Ricky Rembrandt, who brought the object into the show, to tell us a bit about its history and maybe give some hint as to the provenance of the piece. He commented:
"I was on the rag and bone like and this guy was throwing it out. Said he thought it was an eyesore and I could have it. I asked him what it was and he told me he'd bought it for a score off an Italian geezer called Mick Angelo down the Wheatsheaf. He reckoned Mick didn't want it 'cos he's done a better one like"
The Spoof can report that at this point the Antiques Roadshow fella pipes up and says:
"That's good enough for me! I'll give you a monkey for it my good fellow"
So it was a quick spit on the hands and the deal was done. The world of top art readers? It's something else isn't it?