There were riots in Deli and Bombay is under marshall law as people took to the streets to protest about a channel 4 program which purportedly promotes racism.
The row erupted after Jade Whatserchops, a contestant on Celebrity Big Brother, had an argument with someone else about a chicken. As the disagreement escalated, supporters of Shilpa Somebodyorother, who nobody had heard of a couple of weeks ago, spilled onto the streets to riot with police and loot shops.
Followers of pig-faced nazi, Jade, soon followed suit and within hours London had been declared a war zone.
Prime Minister, Tony Blair, was forced to cut short his 3 month backpacking holiday in Goa because of the crisis.
With Germany and France declaring themselves Shilpa fans and Italy pledging allegance to Jade, the seemingly petty squabble has become an international incident and now America and China look set to join the dispute.
President Bush told reporters last night, "America is firmly on the side of Jed, whoever she is. We will not stand by as someone half cooks a chicken and if there is going to be a war, we want in on the ground floor."
Pakistani resident, Slipshod Shipshape, told reporters, "I am very angry. I have not seen the program nor do I know anything about it but I am going to smash the windows of this sports shop and steal several pairs of trainers in protest."