Its been announced this morning that the family of tap dancers, stage name ‘family top', have been declared the champions of UK tap. The competition, which took place last night in the quiet town hall of Bedims, was watched by a few locals, who where complaining that their meeting about introducing plastic bins to replace the current concrete ones had been rudely interrupted by spangly jackets and top hats, as well as the police because tap is recognized for its cut throat nature.
The family top were singled out as the winners because of their brave fusion of modern with jazz hands; one judge said ‘you've got to reward the competitors brave enough to incorporate an audience member's wheelchair into the routine'.
The family, comprised of grand-pappy top, mammy top, pappy top and daughters, are said to be delighted by this unexpected recognition. They hadn't even entered the competition they just happened to be doing a tap routine at the exact right moment-some people have all the luck. When asked why they called themselves ‘family top', pappy top just put a dirty grin on his face and pointed at his forehead-we are still unsure about what he was pointing at.
The prize, yet to be announced but there are whispers of it being something like a child size suit of armour, will be presented to the family in a ceremony purpose built for presenting later this year, with famous special guest speakers possibly Pat Sharp possibly Peter Andre or possibly the drunken Mayor.
‘Family top' will now be entered into the European version of the competition so good luck with that, we will be keeping you posted if no real news pops up.