In a startling claim in The Sun, Prime Minister Tony Blair 'does not exist'.
Sources close to the Sun's ethical and spiritual leadership group, known as GlobalistThinkTank@Wapping.com would only say that the man we know as Prime Minister Tony Blair is in fact, a 'plant'.
The source further claimed that the man known as Tony Blair was indeed born, christened, raised and educated by that name, but..... due to an unfortunate blunder by our Security Services, and MI6 in particular, the innocent though very talented-and-stagestruck Tony found himself recruited into a life of perpetual deception, smiling and lying.
He was, according to our sources, 'inducted by Degrees and brainwashed into believing that he could be anyone he wanted to be... as long as he maintained the name of Tony Blair and did everything that his new owners told him to do.
Young Tony, seeing this as a short-cut to acquiring his long cherished Equity and Musicians' Union Cards, took on the role his new paymasters set him.
His first task was to dismantle the Labour Party of Kinnock and his predecessors, ..... a role he relished with such enthusiasm and style he actually charmed many into believing that the Labour Party could be re-vamped into the likeness his New Paymasters required.
His secretive Paymasters parachuted him into Sedgefield, the ideal location from where he could build a brilliant and successful political/theatrical career on behalf of MI6.
By this means he could act out the part of PM.
Our sources claim they (GlobalistThinkTank@Wapping.com) are the Secret Agents of an intergalactic fiscal-fascist organisation bent on private ownership. That is, their private ownership of The World, and everything in it.
By using our Tony as their front-man, it meant the UK could coalesce with it's senior partner, the USA, in waging wars with or without Parliamentary accountability.
Tony was as brilliant a politician as he was a natural born liar and actor. He successfully smiled and lied his way to Downing Street. Occasionally he would pay a discreet visit to see his new handler, (no, dear reader,... not the electorate... not even Parliament, but his new 'handler' Saroopat Merde-ock., for instructions on how to mislead Parliament and the electorate.
When Tony showed an unnatural inclination to display his own independence by denying the money-grubbing Globalist billionaire a Knighthood, Merde-ock dropped his forename and bought adopted-citizenship of the New York and American Media Empire.
Sadly for Tony, the genius who might have been a world leader for Corporate Fascism, did not have enough skills to cover up the whitewash-tracks his pathetic and grateful acolyte Hutton published on his behalf.
Since we went to press, we now learn that The Sun are denying all knowledge of the claims we allege, and suggest that the facts we refer to are 'leaks from ethically and morally disposed employees, who at this time tomorrow will be ex-employees'.
A Downing Street spokeswoman told our reporter "Shove-off you rat-faced hack... leave me and my husband alone to get on with our own freeloading or you'll get everything my Chambers can chuck at you..."