Deputy Prime Minister and ladies man John Prescott is to have a fight with Sycophantic Home Secretary John Reid this afternoon at half past three.
It is unclear what started the argument but it is rumoured that Reid called Prescott's wife "easy." Prescott is said to have approached the Scotch weasel in the corridors of Parliament and challenged him to a fight, Reid is on record as saying "you push first" but Prescott wasn't having that, "no, you push first" he retorted.
The pair haven't seen eye to eye since Prescott was stripped of office following a bewildering affair with his diary secretary. After the scuffle in the corridor Prescott was heard saying to fellow MP Gordon Brown:
"He was always coming around here licking my arse, bringing me crisps and sweets and stuff. As soon as I couldn't help him get up the ladder the insults start, Tony can't see it though he's taken in by all the compliments and the licking."
Brown is rumoured to be holding Prescott's Coat for the fight which will kick off at half past three.