A surprising development today at the Highland Games as top hammer thrower, Findlay Spindley, was beamed aboard a mysterious space-craft just as he was about to throw for the championship.
Crowds gasped in astonishment as Findlay spun three times only then to disappear in front of them. A shocked Prince Charles told The Spoof:
"Ehh...It was amazing. He was giving it some welly...ha ha ha...ehh... and then suddenly...ehh...he vanished in front of us. The bally chap didn't even bow! The cad!"
Jock Sock who was in the packed grandstand said:
"I heard a sort o' high pitched whining sound, so I told the missus tae shut up! Ye ken? And next thing this sort of big saucer appeared in the sky and a blue sort o' beam thing flashed oot the bottom ontae Findlay. Next thing he was gone!"
This is one of six high profile sporting abductions over the past week. All six have been carried out in a similar fashion and all involved mystery space-craft.
Grampian police have said that they believe that the incidents are totally unconnected and would like to investigate further. However this is not possible as currently all their officers are out pinching people for doing 32mph in 30 mph zones with sneaky hi-tech speed radar devices. The top plod there told us:
"We now can catch people for doing fractional amounts over the prescribed speed limits and it's making us a fortune in fines.
I suppose the only downside is that serious crime is on the increase in our region but we can't be arsed trying to detect that. Nicking speeders is more lucrative and a whole lot less dangerous. We could get hurt chasing real criminals you know?"
The games carried on with the hammer event cancelled until further notice.