Written by Breeze
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Topics: Animals, Zoo

Tuesday, 16 January 2007

image for Polar Bear shortage forces London Zoo to bleach dogs
Labradors begging at London Zoo yesterday

London Zoo was under fire last night when it was revealed that they had been bleaching dogs and passing them off to the unsuspecting public as polar bears.

The ruse was only discovered when Snowflake, a popular polar bear who had appeared in a coca-cola advert, attacked a postman.

Zoo director, Bob Cageum, told reporters, "It is not our intention to mislead the public but with many animals becoming extinct it is becoming more and more difficult to fill our quota. As a result, we have been forced to substitute some of our animals.... also I have been drinking heavily recently as my wife has left me.."

Under intense questioning Mr Cageum admitted passing off a domestic cat as a 'Venezualian pygmy puma' and a hamster as a 'Napalese groundhog'. It was, however, the use of bleached labradors which caused a such furious reaction from the public.

Eastend pensioner, Doris Crackpot, a 98 year old former prostitute, told us, "Cor blimey..luv-a-duck..it's a fackin' liberty, innit...cor blimey."

Condemnation of the zoo's deception has been swift and many politicians have been calling for Mr Cageum's resignation.

Conservative jailbird, Jeffery Archer, told us, "Young people who vist the zoo will come away with the impression that polar bears are friendly creatures, that they fetch sticks and like having their tummys rubbed. This is not the case.......they are vicious bastards who would knife you in an instant."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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