Written by Breeze
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Topics: Global Warming

Monday, 15 January 2007

image for Top environmentalist claims planet is 'Screwed'
Artists impression of the earth in 2012

A top government environmentalist, Professor J. Caringbunny, last night rocked the scientific community with news that the Earth was 'screwed'.

In an interview with nerdy newspaper 'New Scientist' he claimed 'My research has shown that by the year 2012 there will be so much global warming that the earth will be too hot to live on and we will have to evolve into futuristic ice-men in order to save mankind,"

Professor Caringbunny's dire warning has prompted many to invest in large fridges, big enough to hold entire families, in a bid to survive. However, many scientists pointed out that living in a fridge or freezer may do more harm than good.

"Look, if people want to live in fridges then that's up to them," sighed Professor Stephen Hawking, last night, "But they will suffocate in about fifteen minutes. I'd be more concerned about the veracity of Caringbunny's research."

Critics of Professor Caringbunny have pointed out that the PhD, which proudly hangs on the wall of his office, is written in biro on the back of a Cornflakes packet and many of his theories have been debunked by top academics as 'shite'.

"Remember, this is the man who said that Global warming would give us all a nice tan and that the government should spend millions on buckets and spades," said Professor Hawking wearily, "I should also point out that Professor Caringbunny owns a bucket and spade factory and has shares in one of the largest fridge manufacturers in the world."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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