Only months before his enforced resignation, Tony Blair's doctor has revealed the secret behind his seemingly permanent grin: opium.
Since taking leadership of the Labour Party in 1994, he has wormed his way into the role of Prime Minister with an annoying smug smile on his face every single day. It now appears that he has been smoking 4 grams of the finest Chinese opium every morning and evening 'until he falls over' according to Jeeves Steve, one of Mr Blair's butlers.
The secret was thought to be safe, as if anyone published the story it would be widely assumed that it was made up. Mr Steve decided that it was in the public interest to know about this, and came to The Spoof to let the world know.
Opium is illegal in the UK, and it is likely that the Prime Minister will serve a prison sentence of up to 5 years. However, with the easy accessibility of hard drugs in prison, it is likely that that wouldn't wipe the stupid grin off his face.