Written by Fife Peterson
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Saturday, 13 January 2007

image for Jade Goody Sex Tape Maims Journalists
Hints to her family didn't stop Jade's Mother walking in on sex romps

Three Journalists working for The Sun Newspaper have been hospitalised in what is thought to be 'post traumatic mental stress' caused by viewing a tape supplied to the paper by Ex boyfriend of Goody, Jamie Cashins.

Cashins was in a relationship to psuedo workout girl & Big Brother starlet Jade Goody between 2000-2001. The video shows Goody performing various sexual acts & 'acting seductive' for the camera. A colleague of the three men in question said today, "I saw only maybe three minutes of this footage, my friends watched the full five & it was horrid. Almost as bad as watching her family 24/7 on Big Brother. It's no wonder they cracked, i feel lucky i escaped before she started the belly dancing scene".

Goody is unable to comment due to TV commitments but it is thought the families of the three unnamed men are seeking compensation. She is believed to have rolled about "like a fat pig", grunting at the camera as Cashins, 24 "pumped her like a jackhammer". For the publics health, the video has been put down.

Goody is set to win Big Brother this year & coincidently has a fitness video out which she reveiled didn't help her lose weight. "I just had the liposuction innit, wasn't cheap but they've made me like a real lady now! I'm the sex, just ask jack. Jack get here now innit!".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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