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Saturday, 13 January 2007

image for Latest Shortage Sparks Panic Buying
"Something's going to go short and we don't know what it is yet" Say Supermarkets

Chaotic scenes this afternoon when it was announced that a shortage of something or other available in the supermarket was going to be hyped up out of all proportion.

The big three report queues of half a mile stretching round their car parks as people get into panic buying mode. A spokesman for Tesco told us:

"It's phenomenal. There was a rumour, believed to have been started in the Stoke on Trent area, that something was going to become in short supply and before we knew it the rumour had spread like wildfire and we've been overwhelmed by the demand"

We spoke to some shoppers in Asda Macclesfield and mum of three Doreen Fruitybaps told us:

"I've been here all day waiting to hear what it is that's going to be scarce and when they announce what it is, then intend to stock up. I don't want my kids to go without"

And dad, Nigel, Gnomebiscuits remarked:

"Whatever it is; I don't want to be in a position where I run out. What sort of dad would that make me if I allowed that to happen?"

The Government has appealed for people not to hoard this item, whatever it turns out to be, but they may as well ask it to stop raining. For once panic sets in, in this manner, people become crazed. Look at that so-called petrol shortage last year. There was no shortage it was just panic buying! Bloody tossers!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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