Written by BluntScissors
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Topics: BNP

Friday, 12 January 2007

image for BNP rebranding 'successful'
A new BNP recruit

The BNP claim they have successfully rebranded themselves as the New BNP, and are fiercely trying to market themselves in a positive way.

Thanks to modern PR techniques, they say they have shed their 'skinhead' image. A recent recruitment poster shows a crowd of both bald and hairy BNP members helping a wheelchair-bound black man cross a road on the way to a baseball game. Despite the thuggish appearance of the men in the poster, they appear to be laughing, although it may be because they forgot who was supposed to bring a bat, so they all did.

Mohammed Goldstein, a spokesman for the BNP, said "We always used to be seen as a racist party. But we're not any more, and that's a big step forward. We're still racist, but we're no longer seen that way, and that's the important thing."

The party has enjoyed a surge in numbers recently as people realise how utterly pointless it would be to vote for any of the main three political parties. Another factor which has helped is that the BNP no longer bar non-whites or mentally ill people from joining. This has led to a surprising number of ethnic minorities with a low IQ to sign up.

Mr Goldstein continues, "Anyone can join our party, whether white, black, brown, yellow or purple with spots. Of course, if you're not white you can't go to any of the social events, but you probably wouldn't want to anyway."

But there are still barriers in the BNP. "We don't allow gay people to join. But they only have a life expectancy of 40 years, so we wouldn't make much money out of them anyway."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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