Boy wizard, Harry Potter, is reported to be digging his heels in over appearing in the last and final book of his trilogy.
And we can reveal that it's the old problem of money that's at the centre of the dispute. Potter's agent Arthur Daley told The Spoof:
"Harry's got up this morning and clocked all this stuff about Becks and all the dough he's getting for going to the States. So he's belled me and told me to tell JK that it's no dice not unless his wedge is jacked up in line with Beckham's wad"
Rowling, lead singer with Jamiroquai is said to be digging his heels in over his boy star's demands he told us:
"What Harry doesn't understand is that I made him what he is today and I can unmake him with one stroke of my pen. So my advice is for him to stop being a big tart and get on with it"
This comment is being taken as thinly veiled warning that not unless Potter starts toeing the line, then he'll be replaced in the third book of the trilogy by another popular boarding school boy. The Spoof understands that Billy Bunter is the current bookies front-runner.