Fascinating news emerging today about Prince William's time at Eton College when he was student there.
Bert Splurge, the school caretaker, is set to write a 'reveal all expose' now that he is retired and it won't make comfortable reading for some of the country's top people.
Mr Splurge told us:
"Young gentlemen? Don't make me laugh! These little tykes were some of the worst little monkeys it's ever been my misfortune to encounter.
"They thought nothing of tying me to the radiators of the school hall and then beating me with crowbars. It appears that this it's some kind of game that hoity-toitys play. And that weren't the half of it. That Prince William was one of the worst he..."
We are unable to report any further as Buckingham Palace is seeking an injunction to get Bert's book banned but if they are unsuccessful then we will be able to continue the sordid tale and you'll be amazed. We didn't know they were allowed to keep sheep in the dormitories.
But it just goes to show doesn't? That's why these people rise to the top. A full education; whereas the likes of us have to put up with the local Comp.