Cor blimey squire! I don't Adam and Eve it but if reports from London in London England are to be believed, then boxing legend Sir Henry Cooper is coming out of retirement.
Pint-sized Irishman Barry McGuigan told The Spoof:
"Jazeus! He must be feckin' mad. Sure he's liable to get killed if he goes into the ring again. I think he shouldn't do it. No feckin' way"
But the comeback of Britain's "scrapping Sir and knight of the ring" is said to have been inspired by none other than Bilbo Baggins in his recent movie Rocky 12. Sir Cooper commented:
"Oh yeah yeah yeah! I can do it no problem, oh yeah! I've never been in better nick and I fancy my chances against anybody. Even that madman Tyson. 'E'll feel 'Enry's 'Ammer if he don't look out"
Frank Bruno was asked what he thought and he told us:
"Mmha ha ha! Where's 'Arry? I ain't no nutter no matter what the tabloids say"
But bleeding heart Liberal MP Tarquin Farquin told parliament:
"This is a sad day for British sport. To think that the man whose big claim to fame was losing against Cassius Clay is now going to end up losing to a nobody saddens me. This barbaric practice should be banned!"