Written by queen mudder
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Tuesday, 9 January 2007

image for Hellfire Club paying Kate to pose as William's girlfriend
Didn't take that much persuading

London - (ReUterus): Senior Euro-Septic Tory grandees bankrolled Kate Middleton to move into student accommodation in St Andrews into which the Pretender to the Throne's son William was shoehorned according to transcripts of MI5 files found after an intelligence officer left his laptob on the Jubilee Line following one too many at the Old Cock and Bull hostelry on New Year's Eve.

The files also state that Clarence House string-pullers were so dismayed at William's patently gay proclivities that radical remedial cover up action was taken 'to save the throne, so save the Pretender's ass and to save the future of the Hellfire Club'.

As the smug little minx enthralls the paps with a carefully staged 25th birthday appearance in London today, an official police investigation has been launched following complaints that Clarence House covered up information that Middleton stole over £250,000 from royal sources over the last five years to finance a fashionable cocaine habit and penchant for designer clothes that are clearly out of her price bracket and reasonable financial expectations.

Expect this tip of the iceberg story to blow shortly.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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