Written by Fife Peterson
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Tuesday, 9 January 2007

image for Marks and Spencer's Make A Profit!
It's a Blur: 2006 was a good year for M&S

Marks and Spencer's have for the first time in over ten years made a profit, the brave faced store, once believed the only place for a patriotic Brit to shop have finally convinced punters it "wasn't just an expensive clothes store with crap fashionless items" & lulled back in middle aged women with their expensive ranges of shortbread biscuits, rich chocolates & weightline expanding ready meals.

Chief Director John Sputtlesworth spoke yesterday adding, "This is a fine day for us, we are elated. We have had years of slumps & none starts".

M&S are looking forward to this summer to continue their sales rise. Having secured the fashion advice of Kelly Osbourne, the store will be moving into the lucrative market of 'designer ponchos' & 'canine clothing' & are even in talks with serial mag fodder, Paris Hilton for an exclusive photoshoot.

Sales are expected to rise, and market analysts are expecting a 33.7% growth in sales over summer 2007. This is the far cry from 2005's downward spiral which nearly cost 10,000 Vietnamese workers their 2p a month jobs.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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