Amazing reports today from Norwich, telling of a farmer whose fields of root vegetables all look like male genitals.
The framer's wife Esther Rantzen told us:
"It was quite extraordinary. When it came time to dig up the spuds and parsnips, well we couldn't believe what we saw. It was just knobs and bo****ks everywhere we looked. Great big huge members thrusting proudly...oops! Sorry I'm getting rather carried away.
Some of our casual workers are students and we knew something was wrong, when in particular, we saw some of the girls continually blushing.
Polish casual farm worker, Pietr Knobic, told us:
"We digging de spoots and it is beeg deekies everywhere!"
Mrs Rantzen commented:
"What a pity that 'That's Life's' not on any more or we could have supplied enough stuff to keep them going for five years"