Written by Duff
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Friday, 5 January 2007

image for McCririck Goes Under The Knife And Gets A New Filly
McCrirrick, pictured post-surgery, delights shoppers with a bit of his trade mark tic-tac

Channel four's horse racing pundit and picking his nose then eating it dirty fecker, John McCririck, has stunned crowds with his amazing new look.

He was seen in Brent Cross Shopping Centre yesterday out 'doing the sales' and turned heads wherever he went. For out go the ridiculous side boards, wispy hair and deer-stalker hats and in comes a well groomed, clean-cut, suit-wearing hunk. The total barmpot told our reporter:

"Well when I opened my present from The Booby (John's long-suffering wife) on Christmas day, there was simply a voucher for Dr Slicemup's Cosmetic Surgery, offering a deluxe makeover.

I went, just for a laugh really, the day after Boxing Day and what you see now is the result" laughed the tipster as his new girlfriend, actress Liz Hurley, hung on his every word and made lovey-dovey eyes at him the whole time.

Our reporter asked him where The Booby was and the ever chivalrous John replied:

"When I got the new look I booted her into touch mate" before he turned a bit nasty and demanded to know, "Are looking at my bird pal? Cos if you are I'll bloddy 'ave you"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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