Written by Duff
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Topics: Iraq, Iraq War

Friday, 5 January 2007

image for Ollie Forced To Pack Up His Troubles In His Old Kit-bag But He's Not Smiling
"Blimey! I done me bit back in the last lot and I don't fancy anymore" Ollie Grainger

A pensioner from Cleethorps is this morning hopping mad at having received call-up papers that could see him end up patrolling the streets of Baghdad.

Oliver 'Ollie' Grainger (88) received the letter from the MOD on Monday asking him to report to his local recruitment centre on January 8th. He told us:

"Blimey son! I already done me bit back in the last lot and I don't fancy anymore. Not at my time of life. To tell the troof I think there's been a mix up with the computer"

But the MOD is sticking to its guns on the issue. A spokesman commented:

"We are used to all sorts of scams to avoid doing service. We've seen them all. Look at that guy in MASH, Clinger, he didn't get away with it or neither will Mr. Grainger. If he doesn't show up on Monday he'll be arrested and brought here under armed guard. 88? Purrlease! My records clearly show that he's 23"

So it looks as if Ollie's going to be the oldest private on parade; not unless he can get a chitty from his doctor.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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