Written by Mussy
Print this
Topics: Driving, Road Rage

Wednesday, 3 January 2007

image for So you think you can drive....punk?
Mavis Aldridge - recovering from her ordeal

A driving test examiner has this week sparked controversy by including a "road rage" test as part of the practical driving test. Mr Limpit, a former deputy headteacher at Hallamshire Military School in Cumbria, insists that being able to manage stressful car situations provides the learner driver with real life practical experience.

He told The Spoof "By testing the temperament of each driver as well as there ability on the road will help us wheedle out those drivers that become insane with rage the second they leave the test centre. These people need anger management training as part of the test and I'm going to provide it".

His style has not been well received with those that have gone through Mr Limpit's new approach, however. One driver confessed: "I was petrified. I'd just completed my three point turn when he slammed his clipboard down and started screaming in my face. He shouted: 'You tw*t, you f***ing idiot' he was shouting and he was inches from my face. I didn't know what to - I just sat there and froze."

Another would-be driver, an IT Consultant from Morecambe said "I'd pulled up at a t-junction and he asked me to stop. I wasn't sure what he was doing but then he got out of the car, walked round to the driver's window and started slamming his head against the glass. I panicked and drove off as fast as I could. When he got back an hour later he failed me for using excessive speed and perspiring under harassment."

Things really came to a head however, when Mrs Mavis Aldridge, a retired nursery school teacher from Widnes, placed a complaint with the DVLA. Speaking of her ordeal she said "I'm 64 you know and this was my 18th attempt. I've always been extremely nervous but Mr Limpit put me at ease to start off with. I'd done ever so well all the way round but about half a mile from the test centre he asked me to stop in the middle of the road. He climbed out of the car and started jumping up and down on the bonet! He was screaming 'you doddering old bastard, who the f*ck taught you to drive, Mr Magoo?'. I have to admit, I did lose bladder control a little bit."

The DVLA yesterday revoked Mr Limpit's license to complete the examinations following an altercation during a test with a farmer. Mr Limpit is alleged to have asked the farmer if he could make a ewe turn.

Cumbrian police are investigating the incident.

Make Mussy's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 1 multiplied by 4?

9 4 6 14
42 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more