A secret memo from the office of the King of London, Ken Livingstone, to his minions, has fallen into the hands of The Spoof and it looks like bad news for gas guzzling 4 x 4 drivers.
In the sensational document Red Ken wants to:
Ban all gas guzzling cars from the centre of the capital. Any that he does allow in will have to pay a congestion charge of £250 a day and the driver must report to a set of stocks being built just by the Tower of London, to be pelted with rotting fruit and vegetables by members of Friends of the Earth on the first Saturday after their visit.
He also sees it as important that all such drivers have their driving licences confiscated and that they are made re-sit their driving tests.
And if that all wasn't enough he then wants all drivers of small cars to have their cars bought for them by the 4 x 4 drivers to, "teach the rich sods a lesson and to make them consider the consequences of their wasteful selfishness"
Celebrity 4 x 4 driver and BBC's Top Gear presenter, Jeremy Clarkson, has told The Spoof:
"No fucking way! I won't stand for it and they can do what they want to me but they'll have to speak to my twelve-bore first. The tossers!"