Written by victoria
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Topics: Knife

Friday, 5 December 2003

Shock news on that Trevor McDonald show last night, what's it called? Well whatever it is called, the basic fact is that the humble knife, that modest kitchen utensil, is to be discontinued from production.

This action is said to be one in a long line coming from Tony Blair in an effort to fight crime. The news which has shocked people has come as a bit of a surprise. The aim is to remove the knife from existence by 2007, much like the maverick chocolate bar, in a bid to reduce crime and weapon usage.

People on street corners are said to be outraged, we interrupted one man down a back alley, who said 'I think this is ridiculous, you can't just get rid of knives, how will people eat?'

Removing the knife is a brave move but could end in disaster, the knife without the fork is like Richard without Judy, it's just not done. Although many people are outraged those nuts with the spoon fetishes are said to be delighted. Coming soon, 'When spoons take over the world'.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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