Written by Yarmpo
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Wednesday, 27 December 2006

image for Man Finds After-Christmas Bargain - Sparks Sales Frenzy
The headphones are currently being used as make-shift eye protectors

A year of standard price tags ended abruptly when a male shopper managed to buy a set of headphones and cable on sale on Wednesday.

It followed an attempt by stores around the country to hold so-called "After Christmas Sales".

Trevor Kincaide, a 48-year-old postman from Lewisham, said he had been intending to "pop round to the shops" for cigarettes and a can of custard when he stumbled upon a local electronics store with large red signs on the windows.

"They just said 'Sale,'" said Mr. Kincaide shakily, as he reached for a glass of water in his apartment above a Turkish tanning emporium. "I can't remember the rest. It was a bit of a blur."

Local passers-by say they saw Mr. Kincaide run into the Dixon's outlet which had slashed prices by as much as 50 per cent following the Christmas break.

"He had this glazed looked on his face, like he wasn't quite all there," said Mrs. Patricia Hartle, a pensioner who frequents the local bus stop.

Mr. Kincaide was at first overwhelmed by the number of bargains on offer in Dixon's, but quickly went into his "procurement mode" by making rapid mental calculations on the store's for-sale items.

"I just tried to not get distracted by all the old Christmas decorations, and then I just noticed that a pair of headphone and a lead for DVD players were marked down by... 60 per cent," said Mr. Kincaide, his voice trailing off.

Mr. Kincaide took his products to the till, paid for them and was said by stores staff to have run out of the shop, "screaming his head off."

"I don't remember much about how I was behaving," Kincaide said. "I know I was excited." Fellow customers who witnessed the reaction were startled at first, then compelled to seek out similar bargains to the ones Mr. Kincaide found.

It sparked a frenzy of purchases in the small electronics outlet, which later that day brought in around £5,000, mostly in DVD cables and mouse mats.

Other stores across the country have now dropped prices on goods which could not be sold in the run up to the Christmas holiday.

Mr. Kincaide now keeps his spare set of DVD cable the "cack drawer" in his kitchen, while the headphones are currently being borrowed by the tanning emporium downstairs as make-shift eye protectors.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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