Written by Bradford Slippers

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Thursday, 4 December 2003

image for Genetic Disorder Blamed For Smugness
One of these is smug. Told you.

Scientists at West Highlandshire University claim to have identified the gene that prediposes individuals to smugness. Dr. Mick McManus, of the University's prestigious Microbiology Department, said that "he always knew he would find it". He continued, "I even had a bet with my wife the other day that I would, and, oh, look at me, I have!" and then smirked in a really sickly way through his ginger beard.

Commenting on the claim, Professor Churchill Winston, from Breakespere College, Auckland, said that Dr. McManus "had excelled himself this time". Speaking into a paper bag, to demonstrate how humans can hyperventilate, Professor Winston added "McManus has probably also found the gene responsible for being a ginger git, but I expect he's made less of that", before collapsing onto a cameraman.

Dr. McManus has previously claimed to have dicovered the missing link between humans and grapes and also established himself as an authority on melifluous tub monkeys. "I know everything" he once said, in answer to a question on gesticulation, on the BBC's flagship Newsnight programme.

A spokesman from the West Highlandshire University declined to comment on the claims, but mumbled something like "oh, for f**ks sake..." before hanging up on us.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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