London - (Ass Mess): A 200 mile exclusion zone around serial plagiarist and copyright fraudster J K Rowling is being considered by officers of the Met's anti-terrorist division after her laptop encryptions were finally decoded at GCHQ in Cheltenham and found to be inciting carnage on an unprecedented scale just in time for the New Year revelries.
So hell-bent is this Rovian fantasy female on entrenching her position as the true author of the Harry Potter books that the Met is warning that she will up the terror stakes unless all reference to her disorganised crime cartel connections are immediately removed from official records.
"That butter-wouldn't-melt-in-her-ass sangfroid she turns on in front of the cameras is pure bravado", said one top cop who has trailed the world's number one self-publicist from each scene of crime for the last ten years.
"The spooks ignored her at their peril and look what happened: George Bush Jr, Osama, Hillary Clinton and now some goddamned whipper-snapper from Mormon Fairy La-La-Land called Walter Mitty Romney. Can you believe it?"
The Met is now taking no chances in the run up to the traditional New Year's Eve festivities and has undertaken to secretly tag and follow Rowling using latest SkyHype/SatNav disinformation technology to second guess her every move.
Expect more details to emerge this week.