Top Children's TV show, Blue Peter, is trying to lose its middle class image and wants to add scumbags and chavs to the fan-base in an attempt to boost viewing figures.
A source at TV Centre who is close to the show told us:
"The image of the programme is still too stuffy and the new producer wants to make it more inclusive for all kids, right across all socio-economic groups.
They are to introduce a new dog after the Christmas break and it will be a pit-bull terrier. In a total break from tradition, the boy dog, will not be named by the viewers but insiders say that it will be call 'Ripper' and will be well 'ard like"
Gone too are the Advent Crowns and Tracy Islands with all that sticky-back plastic and glue and in comes advice on car-jacking, graffiti and recreational drug-usage.
Former presenter of the show, John Noakes, told The Spoof:
"I think the show must move with the times and giving it a harder edge is a good idea. It had become too comfortable and needed a makeover"
And another former presenter Anthea Turner said:
"Let me back on the TV! I'm desperate to get back on a mainstream terrestrial channel again. Please oh please!"