Written by Ben Macnair
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Topics: Cats

Friday, 5 January 2018

image for Vegetarian Cat Swears vengance on his owners
Oh my god, not Felix, again.

Vegetarian cat, Tiddles Smith, 3, from Chutney on the Fritz has declared vengance on his owners, Mr and Mrs Smith for feeding him a diet of meat for years.

The angry moggy says 'All of those hints I have been dropping, such as eating grass, stealing vegetables from their plates, licking the cactus for water, and they have not picked up on the fact that I do these things because if I didn't, I would starve'.

Mr Smith, 37, said 'Tiddles has always been a rather angry cat, and we thought it was just how he was. Now we know he is a vegetarian, we feel really guilty that the cat we chose is such a wuss'.

Tiddles went on 'Their insufferable child, Nathan says he is a vegetarian, and they put up with his lentil and cous-cous inspired witterings, why can't they show me the same respect'.

Mrs Smith said 'Tiddles is such a wuss. As a Cat, he doesn't even bring us birds in. What a waste of all of that Felix'.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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