Written by Andy Woolfoot
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Topics: Prostitutes

Wednesday, 20 December 2006

image for Comedy news articles on murdered prostitutes banned
Just don't go there

A RULING by the UK Board of Spoof News Editors yesterday has banned all joke articles relating to the recent spate of murdered prostitutes in the Ipswich area for the next three months.

Board members felt it was far too soon for any spoof stories to be published and the ban will be reviewed in February with a view to be extended if investigations are still ongoing.

One editor from the panel said: "We all agreed with the ruling; it is far too soon to be making light of the situation.

"Whilst we always encourage spoof writers to tackle any subject they feel like, considering investigations are still ongoing it is not appropriate for stories focussing on the angle of loners in Ipswich moaning about not being to get their end away in time for Christmas or perhaps a sob story about the increase in the number of pimps being forced to sign on."

However, the ruling only covers spoof news articles and cannot prevent jokes being cracked in other forms.

By lunchtime last Wednesday over 93% of the UK population had received a text message inviting them to play for rugby teams in Ipswich who are short of players in a particular position.
BBC commentator John Motson also raised eyebrows over the weekend when he joked that the match between the mighty Leeds United and Ipswich Town would have to be postponed as a dyslexic killer had murdered all the substitutes.

Experts also fear it is only a matter of time before Russell Brand dedicates an entire show of his God-awful 1 Leicester Square to the subject.

Detective Inspector Steven Gull of Suffolk police added: "We do welcome the ruling and thank the board for its consideration at this stage of our investigation. The families of the victims are still very much coming to terms with, oh hang on a sec, Radio 1's Newsbeat are phoning me again, I have to take this, sorry."

The cartoonist for the Daily Mail was unavailable for comment.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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