Written by T. Loaf
Rating:
Share/Bookmark
Print this

Thursday, 2 November 2017

"What a terrific week", said Fred Clout, Mayor of the hamlet of Millington in the East Riding of Yorkshire, England.

"We may be leaving the EU, but they're still a great source of inspiration over there."

Following Catalonia's move to break away from Spain, the residents of the tiny town (75 adults, 16 children, 85 sheep, ten cows) voted unanimously on Tuesday to create their own nation: The Free and Cuddly Republic of Millington.

"And to show our kinship with Europe, it being the 500th anniversary of Luther and his theses and all that", explained Mr. Clout, "I've nailed 7 beermats to the side of my shed, on which our constitutional rights and regulations are specified. Our laws are very simple.

The first law states:

'Bitter is to be provided free of charge at the Nags Head from midday to 8 p.m. Babycham and breezers must not be sold within the hamlet's boundaries."

"That was very important", underlined the Mayor. "Clause 4 states 'Each garden may have a maximum of two sheds, each of not more than 5 square yards floor space'.

That's important, too," went on Clout, "because Cliff Reynolds is putting up sheds everywhere. Don't know what's wrong with the guy.."

"Oh and of course Clause 5: 'Same-sex weddings can be held immediately without administrative hassle and 'when you come'....so to say.... at our local place of worship, The Splendid Holiness Church for God's Forgotten. Our vicar really is very progressive. He even marries sheep. Last week we celebrated the wedding of a Swaledale and a Cheviot. It was very emotional. But,..er..yes, we want to be a sort of modern-day Gretna Green for LGBT folk. Should catch on...... I always thought LGBT was a London water company, but the vicar opened my eyes. Such an enlightened man...All we need now is a flag and an anthem...should be no problem.."

Make T. Loaf's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!


More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 multiplied by 1?

2 24 1 15
85 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more