Written by Jaggedone
Rating:
Share/Bookmark
Print this

Sunday, 8 October 2017

image for Oliver Twist returns to haunt school in North London!
No warm dinners for little Oliver Twists in 2017! Dry bread and an apple is what they get!

Charles Dickens depiction of life in Victorian orphanages, Oliver Twist, has now been turned into a 2017 reality horror show by a bunch of Scrooges who run a daily meal service in a Catholic school in North London!

It seems as though little Oliver's who dare to "ask for more" whilst queuing up for a warm dinner are being served cold bread and a piece of fruit (not water, that's prison grub!)!

Poor kids in the old days who could not pay for a warm dinner were given free dinners by the school authorities (Jaggedone knows because he had free dinners, but that's a different story of poverty). Nowadays, due to private companies taking over, they get only cold fodder if mum or dad owes them £2,30!

Cases of poor Oliver's and Olivia's (who?) queuing up begging for a warm dinner are now becoming a regular sight, but in this particular school (typical charitable Catholics!) the Scrooge authorities refuse to show any compassion, so the kids have to swallow dry dread and an apple; if they're lucky!

One serving lady told an "Oliver", "be grateful you get a slice of dry bread and a piece of fruit, there are kids starving of hunger all over the planet!"

Oliver wept and said, "fuck you Scrooge, I'm here in England not in Ethiopia!"

There you have it, compassion, warm hearts, and charity, haven't evolved that much since Dickens told the world about Oliver and how right he was, even Scrooge was kinder!

Make Jaggedone's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!


More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 4 multiplied by 4?

5 8 16 17
82 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more