Written by Jaggedone
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Friday, 6 October 2017

image for UK psychopathic doberman tennis ball killer has belly ache!
Doberman tennis ball killer is now cured after having 25 tennis balls removed from its gut!

Doberman dogs are usually used as superb guard dogs, or Hitler's favorite animal for chasing "Untermenschen" if trained incorrectly! However, there is one dumb doberman residing in Geordieland, Sunderland, to be precise, that would not qualify to do any of these jobs because it loves to kill tennis balls!

Police were informed about this strange beast gobbling up tennis balls after its owner noticed his pet had lost its appetite. Worried, he took it to the vet and, low and behold, it had 25 tennis balls stuck in its gut, and one was even whole!

The local Sunderland constabulary had been inundated with frustrated tennis players who whack their balls over the fence and seem to lose them every time a doberman walks by! The vet, a rubbish tennis player too, who has lost his balls many times, discovered one of his balls, a Dunlop special, initialed, in the dumb dog and immediately called the police!

The owner pleaded innocence believing that his doberman only caught his own balls, but it seems the "satanic beast" is a psychopathic tennis ball killer!

After sowing his belly up, the vet also cut his balls off (ouch!) in the hope that a castrated doberman would be relieved of his psycho tendencies and tennis ball fetish, because most psychopaths are sexually driven, and by removing his balls the canine "tennis ball killer" would now be cured of his evil habit!

Police did not demand that the doberman be put down, but warned the owner to stay clear of tennis courts and try golf courses instead!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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