Written by Jaggedone
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Thursday, 28 September 2017

image for Italy introduce "marry yourself weddings" for jilted Johns and Joans!
The perfect candidate for marrying herself because nobody can get near her pussy!

Lonely, single, unmarried and fed up with jumping in and out of bed with strangers who only want one night stands? Then Italy is the place for you!

Singles in Italy are now allowed to marry themselves! The first to do it was a female Italian fitness instructor who jumped into bed with so many gigolos, she got sick of it, and she's catholic too!

So after taking her marriage vows in church, inviting the family and friends to her hen night and, also going on a honeymoon with herself, Italy has decided to make marrying yourself legal and the Pope has given his blessings (hypocrite)!

Sales of Chinese sex toys are booming now in Italy, male and female, and Ryanair are offering newly wedded singles two seats for the price of one to accommodate for newly wedded people taking their sex toys on a honeymoon trip; if Ryanair can find enough pilots that is!

This latest Italian trend will obviously be exported to all countries ruled by catholics and also give their priests the opportunity to wed too (well at least the cleaning ladies or choir boys will not have to suffer anymore!).

The UK will also consider accepting marriages to oneself, however, Boris Johnson, has told parliament that this latest European law is again proof how lucky the UK are jumping ship because it is even madder than he is!

The European president, Jean-Claude Juncker, has sent both BOJO and Nigel Farage, a chinese sextoy for christmas because he believes they are both "top wankers!" And hopes they will be both happy married to their narcissistic egos!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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