Written by Jaggedone
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Wednesday, 27 September 2017

image for Soft, silky "bogpaper" causes tree huggers to see "Red!"
Tree huggers claim; "do it like they do with a stick or a leaf!" It's brilliant for the environment!

Wiping one's rear end these days with, soft, luxury "bogpaper" seems to be not quite as harmless as it seems, say tree huggers!

A UK luxury bogpaper manufacturing company has been accused by tree huggers of destroying a pristine forest is Sweden so their affluent customers can make sure their bums are not roughened up after a luxury 5 star Indian or Thai dinners, which tend to accelerate a visit to the bog; Delhi Bellies or Bangkok Burn style!

tree huggers have suggested a return to Medieval practices of wiping one's rear end with a stick or leaves gathered from bushes or trees and, after cleansing has taken place, throw the sticks onto a pile at the end of the garden for recycling into the garden (that's logical!). Hence, there will be no need to chop down pristine forests, block up sewers, or useless usage of luxury bog paper for blowing the delicate noses of the upper classes!

As for the "Little People" who cannot afford luxury, silky bogpaper, tree huggers has not offered any solutions and told them to "rough it" because they are not worth complaining about!

A spokesman for tree huggers also offered advice in how to avoid slaughtering pristine Swedish forests; "buy a bidet!"

A spokesman for the affluent fraternity retorted, "Great idea, but then I can't use luxury bottled water to rinse my rear end, I'll have to use cheap tap water!"

It seems to be a constant environmental battle even at the rear end of society!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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