Written by Jaggedone
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Friday, 22 September 2017

image for UK supermarket shoppers are sick of being called "Darling" and prefer "Bitch!"
Latest generation of modern day shoppers demand to be called what they are and not "Darling!"

A leading UK supermarket has ordered its cash till operators to stop calling punters, darling, sweetheart, luv, or anything else that makes modern day shopper's blood cringe!

Back in the old days of the "Old Corner Shop" these expressions were accepted as friendly, neighbourly, warming and cuddly! Nowadays in the cold gangways of modern supermarkets such expressions are "mega out" because punters want to be treated like they do when they're in the local boozers, McDonalds, or other junk food joints, so the supermarket has come up with a new set of comments to adapt to the modern world of fast-lane shopping, and here they are:

1) Hi there fat, obese bitch, have a great munchy day!

2) Hey you drunken slob, how ya doing, sober yet?

3) Have a nice day, rat pack! (Especially for groups of young, hoodie kids nicking sweets!)

4) Hey grandma, how's your incontinency?

5) Hey Grandad, move your butt, you're too f'ing slow!

6) Good morning, you filthy tramp, man that greasy T-shirt stinks!

7) Have a great day, but fucking pay first, illegal immigrant!

8) Good morning, have you had your dose of heroin yet, junkie?

9) Hi there, horny bitch, can't you keep your legs closed? 5 nippers and no hubby!

10) Hallo Polish people, get back to where you fucking come from!

The supermarket have decided not to use any form of religious, or anti-Muslim greetings just in case they blow the place up!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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