Written by ElliottB
Rating:
Share/Bookmark
Print this

Thursday, 24 August 2017

Jeremy Corbyn's Labour party has again provoked controversy by suggesting more "women only" places in the interests of safety.

Hot on the heels of the "Women only train carriages" controversy suggesting that all men are potential sex pests and women should keep as far away from them as possible just in case, the shadow ridiculous ideas minister,Petra Fyinglydim, has claimed that there should also be consultation on the introduction of Women only supermarkets.

Ms Fyinglydim- who is 38 and not much of a looker but secured her position after all the pretty ones resigned over Corbyn's extremist views- cited a report by the University of Pervertia that some men had been noted arriving at Paddington Station and heading straight for Waitbury's supermarket on Praed street. Some looked noticably seedy, the report states, and one even bought a lads mag, deliberately approaching a female assistant with cash in hand using the feeble excuse that all the others were serving other customers.

Equality campaigner Yvonne Tiuppa-Hand, speaking to The Daily Sexpest, said "Clearly, those men who are dangerous enough to force women to cower in safe carriages on a train journey are equally dangerous in a supermarket environment and women need to be able to do their daily shopping without fear of being looked at." Becoming very flustered and red in the face, she continued, "Of course those women who have a foolish belief that most men are not sex attackers will still be able to risk going to mixed supermarkets if they wish, but there will be a 150 yard exclusion zone for males around all women establishments. This is best in the interests of equality going forward."

Police meanwhile have promised to look into the growing problem of hate crime against immigrants when such time arises as they have the resources. Politicians and campaigners are not too concerned as the victims are often male, and what's a broken jaw to worry about anyway?

Make ElliottB's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!



Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 5 multiplied by 2?

8 20 6 10
61 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more