Written by Jaggedone
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Topics: Theft, CCTV, CV

Wednesday, 16 August 2017

image for Bungling Birmingham burglar blows burglary; he forgot to ask for his CV!
Bungling burglars please use your f'ing brains before seeking revenge!!

Now in the days of sophisticated technology, hacking computers, CCTV cameras, smartphones, etc. A Birmingham (UK) bungling burglar wins first prize in being a total technological "dickhead!"

The gentleman applied for a job at a betting shop in Birmingham and of course produced a CV. After careful consideration, the guvner of the shop decided he was not a suitable candidate and kindly thanked him for his time.

After hearing of his bad luck the applicant became so furious he decided to rob the betting shop in an act of revenge and, because he was stone broke! So, he managed to borrow a gun off of one of his charming mates, purchased a balaclava at the local extreme-winter-sports shop and headed for the betting shop to do the dastardly deed!

After entering and flashing his gun in the face of several cashiers he exited the shop with 17K and, feeling quite excited about "shagging" the guy who refused to give him a job, whipped off his balaclava not thinking for one second that CCTV cameras are hanging everywhere in the streets of all major UK cities, OOPS!

The owner, after studying the cameras, said to his shaken up employees, "I know that bastard, he just applied for a job here and I've still got his CV!!"

Well it doesn't take Einstein to work out what happened to the bungling Birmingham burglar, police nicked him and now he's being buggered in the slammer!"

Message to all wannabe, revenge filled, raging bungling burglars; chill out, then go back to the place where you left your CV and do not, I repeat, do not, ever remove your balaclava outside the door; Big Brother is watching you, butthead!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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