Written by T. Loaf
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Monday, 14 August 2017

Paris Saint-Germain Football Club, which recently signed (or rather acquired) the services of a certain Neymar da Silva Santos Junior from Barcelona for a reported fee of 220 million Euro, are busy marketing their wears to regain all that money. True, the cash was provided by their 'benefactor', the rulers of Qatar, and so products are being branded accordingly to suit Islamic tastes.

Hijabs, abayas and niqabs, even complete burqas with little pictures of Neymar above the veil and in the club's jersey colours of red and blue are available for Muslim ladies keen to venerate their Brazilian genius. Islamic males can revel in red and blue thobes and ghutras, again with tiny Neymar images integrated into the fabric.

"There's a huge market for such items", explained Ivana Trump, Donald's daughter and Secretary of State for Things and This and That, and former fashion-store owner. "My father now dons a thobe during morning hours and recently, when Theresa May visited, she sported a neat little hijab to breakfast. She looked cute."

"They're terrific", confirmed May, "they help you focus on your baked beans."

Donald Trump felt imperial in his Muslim garment, in USA stars and stripes design. "This is me", he stated. "Don't let anyone tell you I'm a racist or anything. Especially those oily Mexicans. You never see them in this stuff...sombreros, that's all they've got, for God's sake. They haven't got a clue. You wanna know about clothes, ask Ivana...."

"I did bring a ghutra back for Boris from Ivana's collection. But he hasn't worn it yet". explained May. "Maybe if I distributed ghutras to the complete Front Bench, he'd succumb. At the moment, my Front Bench looks like the Addams Family......"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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