Written by Jaggedone
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Topics: Tourists

Monday, 31 July 2017

image for Brit Olympic bath towel hurlers conquer almighty German tourists in Gran Canaria!
Heroic obese Brit holidaymakers thwart Germans and win the Olympic Gold medal in bath-towel hurling!

The annual Olympic bath towel hurling event across Europe during the holiday period has culminated in a grand final on Gran Canaria and, surprise, surprise, Brits beat the Germans in a bath-towel penalty shoot-out early on Sunday morning!

How they managed to do it was down to superb planning by blocking the swimming pool doors with an obese group of all-inclusive fatties forming a scrum, which the Germans armed with their favourite towels, just could not budge; rugby is not quite a Germanic sport.

Then from above perfectly trained Brit bath towel hurlers, hurled their towels from surrounding balconies and, beat the Germans hands down by claiming 80% of the sun lounges in a prime position; in front of the pool!

Olympic bath towel throwing judges gave the gold medal to GB and the Germans sulked because they hate losing penalty shoot-outs. However, they managed to drown their sorrows by downing litres of German beer because the pool bar is owned by German Bratwurst makers and only allow German beer to be sold poolside! Brexit beer guzzling Brits prefer a pint of English beer called cat's piss by the Germans, a rarity these days in Europe!

So although Brits won the gold medal for being the most successful, holiday-making dickheads on the planet; Germans had the last laugh because sitting in the boiling sun without a pint or two is worse than losing to Germany in a penalty shoot-out; Scheisse!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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