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Topics: Robots, Milk

Wednesday, 26 July 2017

image for Housewives not satisfied with robot milkmen's service
Milk - from a mammal of some sort

A trial run of milk delivery robots in Dorking has run into difficulty after a number of housewives complained that they were not fulfilling all of their duties.

"Ooh," said Elsa Hornie of Privet Drive. "I couldn't wait for some of that milkman-robot cock to come up me front lawn, but he just dropped off the bottle and didn't flirt with me at all."

Other local housewives have also expressed their disappointment. Stacey Scrubber of Rectum Road said, "I at least hoped that he'd had a big fat robot cock for me, but he was only interested in dropping off his milky load."

Milk delivery company Schmilk explained that their delivery robots were not designed for sexual encounters. A Mexican company called El Leche had previously tried to develop amorous androids for milk delivery but were subsequently banned after a Chihuahua housewife was ravaged against her will by her robotic milkman. Milk delivery companies around the world have since scaled back the lustfulness of their robot couriers.

Industry insider Geoff Udder explained, "It's very hard to design a robot that will both deliver milk and shag housewives. In that way, the good old fashioned milkman will always be needed, although in future perhaps he will only deliver his own milk, while his robot companion brings the actual product."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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