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Thursday, 20 July 2017

image for UK Government stockpiling cake in event of hard Brexit
Cake will also be used as currency once the pound becomes worthless

A source has revealed that the government has begun gathering large quantities of cake and storing them in an abandoned London underground station. The cake will be distributed to the population if Brexit negotiations break down and Britain is forced to leave the EU without a deal.

Brexit spokesman Arrogance Cummerbund hinted at the meaning of this earlier this week when he said, "Britain plans to have its cake and eat it, whether those filthy Frogs and Huns let us or not." It was widely assumed that he was talking metaphorically.

Cake shops across Britain and in neighbouring countries are reporting that they are running low on stock, which could stifle the government's plans. However, once Britain leaves the EU, it will no longer have to use EU definitions of what constitutes a cake. One minister revealed recently that he was looking forward to recategorising sausages as cake.

One EU chief commented on the British cake hoarding, "This really takes the cake."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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