Written by Peter Pillox
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Topics: Brexit, Vince Cable

Sunday, 9 July 2017

image for Sir Vince Cable sells his soul to the Devil to stop Brexit
Sir Vince Cable makes another clever and witty soundbite

LibDem leadership hopeful Sir Vince Cable announced that he will be entering into a pact with the Devil to stop Brexit.

The one-time Business Secretary said "Labour, Tory and other MPs who are opposed to leaving the EU should be ready to sacrifice anything, including their very souls, to stop it from happening."

The ageing LibDem, who once offered to "declare war on Rupert Murdoch" to impress a pretty girl, who turned out to be an undercover reporter, was addressing his party's annual conference in the broom cupboard of a hotel in Brighton.

He said that an eternity of having burning pitchforks stuck into his rectal cavity would be nothing compared to the pain in leaving the EU.

He also told both delegates that his party would win the next general election, or maybe come second, third or an also ran, and that they would never, never, increase student loans beyond the existing level.

He then added, completely unhysterically: "Theresa May is Adolf Hitler, Theresa May is Josef Stalin, Theresa May is Genghis Khan, Theresa May is the Yorkshire Ripper".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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