Written by Jaggedone
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Friday, 7 July 2017

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Nutty Zulu Chief, Zuzi Zwazi-Caine, get's lost in Hull with his warriors!

It seems that South African Zulus have no knowledge of British geography after intending to invade London, they went AWOL, and ended up in a very fishy place called, Hull, Yorkshire!

The Zulu leader, Chief Zizu Zwazi-Caine, (a distant relation of Michael who once fought so bravely against the Zulus, but Michael being Michael, a bit of a playboy, also left his seeds in Rorke's Drift) with a group of warriors, believed he was on a ship docking in London, but then ended up in the fair city of Hull.

They realised something was wrong whilst leaving the ship because it smelt quite pongy and typical for Yorkshire, it was "brass monkeys!" As they walked down the quay asking for the address they were suppose to invade, somewhere in Brentford, an ancient Hull City supporter (they are quite jurassic) and fishnet repairer said, "aye lads it's down hither, Bradford, straight ahead!"

"Bradford you dickhead, I said Brentford!" Answered a quite confused Zulu chief.

"Brentford? Oh they have a crap footy team too!" The fishnet repairer then continued what he has been doing ever since fishing boats abandoned Hull, sowing his nets.

The Zulu warriors then returned to the ship and demanded that they be taken to Brentford whilst holding the Captain at spear point!

"Hold on chaps, I'll just call Michael he'll sort your problem out because he's a bit of a Cockney Lad and knows where Brentford is!" The shocked captain replied.

Chief Zizu Zwazi-Caine, on hearing the name of his distant relation released the captain, ordered his warriors to do a special Zulu dance for the ship's crew, and then booked return tickets to Cape Town.

"Who needs London anyway, too fucking expensive!" the chief quoted after dancing for the crew!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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