Written by Jaggedone
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Topics: Banned, Bananas

Friday, 16 June 2017

image for British mum kicked out of garden centre for only wearing banana leaves!
This fruit can cause feelings of hot passion if worn in the right place!

After all it was only 24 degrees celsius but, feeling quite hot and sticky, a mum from Hampshire, UK, (not the posh one in the USA) decided to go shopping in a local garden centre dressed only in banana leaves!

The leaves covered her intimate parts as she had spent hours sewing them together at home for a performance that evening being a pro singer, not a pro, pro. Her idol, Josephine Baker, once did a historic banana dance and caused a riot way back when, when male customers offered to hang their bananas between her leaves (?)

Her daughter thought she looked terrific in her banana leaf dress and due to the heat thought it was decent enough to go shopping for some new plants at the centre.

However, the garden centre manager thought differently, being an avid Josephine Banana Baker fan, he booted her out claiming she was fake (very hot topic these days) and not suitably dressed to enter his store.

The pro singer, devastated, told the local police she was being discriminated against because in no way was she flashing her parts and the banana leaves looked quite elegant.

The store owner, still recovering from the sight of a "fata morgana" copying his idol appearing in his centre gave the following statement:

"I banned this lady because of religious reasons. Just imagine the craze catches on and people start entering the store with leaves stuck to their intimate parts, especially fig ones, Moses would roll over in his grave and chimpanzees would go bananas.."

The banned singer did a roaring rendition of Josephine Baker's infamous "Banana Dance" in the evening wearing only her leaves. The garden centre has offered an apology and invited her to perform live swinging from tree to tree to generate more banana-loving female and male customers!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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