Written by Jaggedone
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Monday, 12 June 2017

image for May may have to hang if she meets DUP's demands!
She was a true English rose; May is an English dandelion, smell her BS and it makes one urinate!

The world is still in shock after last week's election results in the UK (The World meaning UK's pea minded vision that Brittania still rules the waves). Now Mrs May needs to lunge into bed with the DUP, a Northern Irish party of jurassics. Of course to keep her shiny, designer shoes in power, May would jump in bed with anybody. However, the demands of the DUP's (Not Dopes) are causing quite a stir so Jaggedone sent his star CIA political (Cockroach Infiltration Army) reporter, Paddy IRA-Kneecapper, over to the land of nods to divulge the DUP's demands, and here they are:

Theresa, we demand a Mexican Wall around our beloved country, not a wave! May's answer; OK

Theresa, We demand you hang all leading Sinn Fein members up on lampposts to show those bastards in Southern Ireland, we are back, big time! May's answer; OK!

Theresa, British soldiers will annexe all Catholic areas, then you will turn them into Protestant, US style, luxury condominiums, rent free of course for our DUP politicians! Theresa's answer; OK

Theresa, you will ban Guinness from our pubs! Theresa's answer; OK

Theresa, you will ban homo's from getting married in our land of real men because Ian Paisley hates homos! In addition, any homo seen holding hands in public will be handed over to ISIS, but not our glorious, gay rugby players! Theresa's answer; OK

Theresa, Boris Johnson, he's gay, or he looks gay, will not be allowed to enter our wonderful, pristine, heterosexual country and if he does, we'll hang him on a lamppost (I agree with that one)! Theresa's answer; OK.

So there you have the DUP demands and of course May will bow to their demands come what May (very punny). The UK can now look forward to a European slaughter by 27 countries, without a Wellington, because DUP Dinosaurs, led by a Maybloom, are demanding a hard Brexit!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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