Written by Jaggedone
Print this
Topics: Poo, Cats

Thursday, 1 June 2017

image for UK cat-loving hoarder nearly drowns in 30 tons of cat poop!
Sweet kittens are OK, but 61 of the things in one house! Stinky Winky!

Emergency services were called to a house in North-West London after neighbours observed yowling cats jumping out of windows and running for their nine lives!

It seems the rather eccentric owner of 61 cats slipped into a cesspit in the house filled with cat poop and other quite revolting excrement. However, no rat or mouse droppings could be found; I wonder why? Uncontrollably sliding, she landed in the pit, and as the emergency services arrived, only her head was visible!

Hunky firemen just managed to drag her out in time before she disappeared, but the stank was horrendous, and that was only her breath! They sped her off to hospital but, not before hosing her down because the ambulance crew refused to load her into the ambulance!

She screamed whilst being hosed down, "where's my cats?" And broke down crying, aagh!

30 tons of poop were later removed from the house and the house owner has sent the hoarder a massive bill for the work and also evicted her claiming; "I thought the house was quite smelly but never expected this amount of shit!"

As for the hoarder, Battersea Dogs and Cats Home, have offered her a cage, along with her cats that were luckily saved until examinations in her head are finished and she can enter the local Loony Bin!

Her cats are now doing well and looking for new owners, but Battersea refuse to give all 61 of them to one owner; I wonder why?

Make Jaggedone's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 4 multiplied by 3?

2 9 12 25
79 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more