Written by Jaggedone
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Topics: Olympics, cheese

Tuesday, 30 May 2017

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Dutch secret weapons made to beat favorites, UK, at Olympic Cheese-Rolling!

Brits are renowned for their eccentric pastimes, and now one particular event has caught the minds of Olympians, Cheese Rolling!

Normally, practiced on a small hill somewhere in Gloucester, and enjoyed by thousands of Nutters watching the spectacle of eccentric cheese-rollers running after their Gloucester-double-rolled-cheeses. However, every insane crowd has a silver lining; the sport has now been accepted as an Olympic discipline and will appear for the first time in Tokyo 2020.

Favorites to take the gold are of course Brits; however, the Dutch, famous for their rolling cheeses are training for the event too, but, there is one minor problem, there are no hills in Holland and rolling cheeses on the flat is forbidden at the Olympics.

The Dutch team have asked to train in Gloucester but were refused entry because of Brexit! Germany have also entered the competition and have been busy preparing in the Bavarian Alps where cheeses tend to roll perfectly, and we all know what the Germans can do if they get their teeth into any sport.

If there is a draw at the end of the competition only UK Gloucester cheeses will be allowed in a "penalty roll-out". Germany and Holland have vehemently complained about this ruling and are cheesed off because their cheeses tend to be slightly more smooth and roll much better than their UK counterparts! The Olympic commitee, showing no bias towards the UK, told the Germans and Dutch to "cheddar off" if they don't like it!

France and Italy also wished to enter the fray but were forbidden because their cheeses are mouldy! That stinks too!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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