Lesbians in London Festival will run from 24 June to 9 July, with the official opening at Tate Britain which celebrates their new exhibition Lesbian & Hope.
They will be hosting various events across London like the dunking for squids tournament where live squids are tied to floating balloons. For each squid a person retrieves they get five pounds.
Scheduled, events include Lonely Soho Tours, a guided tour looking at Lesbian characters who have lived down Soho's streets.
There will be a special picnic in Victoria Park serving Tuna and Cow brain sandwiches with Oyster milk shakes, and City Dash Game, a high energy treasure hunt specifically themed for the festival.
Evolutionary scientist Richard Darwins will attend the festival to explain the lesbian phenomena at a speech ceremony.
"Lesbians at one time in the ancient past had natural, male breeding partners who kept their mutations or DNA coding systems alive through the process of forced procreation.
'Logically, there are various forms of genetic lesbians, but they all share the same type of male partner who is a genetically modified male with powerful, uncontrollable sexual desires. These males keep the lesbian gene alive which is a female gene which lacks the genetic desire to breed with males and they don't find males attractive.
'These males classified as "sexually hyperactive male breeders" also collect the various types of lesbian genes into a single genetic package or a lesbian package which they introduce into healthy women, into established lesbian genes, and into new forms of lesbian mutations to create what is classified as a "wonder woman" or a "super lesbian" who carry's the DNA coding of several thousand ancient lesbians as well as collecting new lesbian code mutations through the "sexually hyperactive males."
'Since lesbians genes are incompatible, they are hard to transfer and to upkeep in a harsh earth environment. This means that heterosexual genes are dominant while lesbians genes are recessive. Out of four heterosexual couples, two will produce a lesbian which can only produce children with the help of "sexually hyperactive male."
'One type of lesbian code has a male hypothalamus gland which is actually a male living inside of a woman's body. A different type of lesbian code has a female hypothalamus gland, but was born with missing brain receptors that are needed to feel attraction to the male gender.
'The lesbian coding package which lives inside of "sexually hyperactive male" also collects and stitch together the genes of unattractive women to the lesbian gene. Unattractive women wouldn't normally breed with males that have low testosterone levels or males who are attracted to pretty women or to strong feminine traits, leaving them exposed to "sexually hyperactive males" carrying the lesbian genetic package," Darwins explains.
He further demonstrates the lesbian phenomena in spiders and praying mantis who eat males who can't control their sexual desires. A primitive form of sexual harassment with a grisly ending.
Professor Darwins predicts the extinction of the lesbian gene because their natural breeding partners are housed in prisons unable to force the lesbian gene package they carry, into hostile lesbian women who walk freely in society unable to breed.
In the future not a single lesbian will exist as their various coding systems slowly vanishes from the gene pool. This means that lesbian gatherings won't be seen a million years from now.